How a joke wrote itself (In my comments section)

This blog has been knowingly / unknowingly cathartic for me to a particular but significant degree. So not writing over the last months was probably not the best of the ideas. I was busy with stuff, and I did not really have the time to write anything (or anything worthy to write to be fair).

But that is beside the point for now. Actually, everything is beside the point for now. Because in my last post on my blog, something magical happened. Something that has never happened in the history of this blog. Something so unexpected that I had to double-check, verify and take screenshots just to make sure that it was not a fluke. But it was real. It is real. You can still see it on the last post.

Edit - Added a screenshot to this post for easy reference.

Someone decided to comment on my post. And, a comment it was indeed. In the words of John Oliver, there is a lot to unpack here, but I will try my best to logically and structurally unpack what that commenter was thinking about and share it with us for everyone to read. But even before we go to the actual content of the comment, I would like to focus your attention on the name of the commenter. Fakk Yyuu.

If you have tried to comment on blogs, there are basically 2 options. Either comment as anonymous, or it gives you the option to choose your name. You can choose any name you want for your online persona on a random blog. For more credible and serious blogs, it makes sense to use your real name, or something close to your real name. Much more common are usernames or stylized names that aren't precise but still unique enough that they form probably the majority of names. There is always the option of using fake names, and especially after the COVID and Zoom phases of human lives, I rightly expected people to embrace hilarious fake names for online use.

My guess is that this person doesn't really know what Anonymous means.

I mean seriously, from the classic but evergreen "Bits of Fry and Laurie" fake names like Ted Cunterblast or Derek Nippl-e (The hyphen is important), or Peter O'Hanraha Hanrahan, Spartacus Mills, Herman the tosser, from "The Day Today", to the modern "Impractical Jokers" TV show, where there is a literal fake name game, with stuff like-

• Cranjis McBasketball

• Secret Agent Randy Beans

• Beefy McWhatnow

• Tammy BundleBalls

• Captain Melvin Seashorse

• Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico

• Rickyticky Bobbywobbin

• David Krappenschitz

Digressed again. My point is, if you do decide to not post as an Anonymous user, and don't want to use your real name, at least show some creativity. From just your choice of the name "Fakk Yyuu", which isn't also correctly spelled, I already know so much about you. I did not need to go into Google Analytics and see where you were commenting from, what phone you used, how much time you actually spent reading my blog, and who was your ISP. I did not need to do any of that, but I still did. Because "Fakk Yyuu".

Dude, you could have used literally anything, but now in my head, your name would always be a terribly spelled "Fuck You", which is ironic not only because the rest of your comment is in proper English, which means you do know how to write (at least), but also I keep imagining people calling you by the same name on the streets to get your attention and it's beyond hilarious. 

This is also a sidenote to more informed and educated users of the internet, if I can do this level of tracking on a random internet user, imagine what corporations like Google, Apple, Meta, and Microsoft can do, and what governments are doing all the time.

Adblocks, PiHole, Cookies, GDPR, VPN (or the lack thereof in India)- some things to think about...

Whew, all of that content is just from the Name of the commenter. Now let's actually go through the actual comment. Again, a lot to unpack.

Such a pathetic narcissistic personality. Failure in school, Failure in college and now super Failure in Germany and still criticising the same school which tried to make you a decent human being.

 

I am doing my Master's course here in Germany, which means I did pass my school and college education in India. So... not sure what makes you say that. It's hurtful. 

No, it's hilarious. Like the rest of your comment.

Never paid a single penny in tax, never contributed in upliftment of the society and now criticising the same government which is providing your family bread and roof since last 30 years.

 

In case you forgot, we don't have pennies in India. But that's a rhetorical point and I do get what you are trying to say. Unfortunately, that is also wrong. Every time I buy something, I am paying tax on it. You must know the MRP concept in India. The price you pay to buy literally anything includes tax. That's the whole point of GST. Goods and Services Tax. The tax introduced by our supreme leader. I'm beginning to feel as if you know the English language, but don't truly understand what it means. Kind of like my situation with German. I know what someone is trying to say mostly from context, but I would still prefer English for perfect clarity and to avoid any confusion.

Also, how did you get to the 30 years timeframe? Must be made up, like the GDP data of India.

The same tax payers hard earned money which which you are burning in Germany to fail every semester but could have been utilised in developing our country.

 

I'm not funded by the government or any scholarship, so your tax money is not being used by me. It's also not being used by the government in developing our country, because that was the whole point of the last post I made. And since I have paid taxes, and still do, I have the right to ask how it is being spent. Maybe you should also ask your supreme leader where all the PM-CARES funding went? Or the Kisan tax? or the Swacch Bharat Cess? What about the Electoral Bonds?

Oh, you can't. Because of the laws passed by the same government.

Feel sad for the parents as well as teachers who wasted their energy and resources on you. Please don't come back here again otherwise Modi ji wont let you go back.

 

Again, this just makes me think you read stuff but did not really understand. I had bad teaching and education experience (still struggling with that), but most of my teachers were great! Perhaps for you both aspects were terrible. Maybe it was God saying your name back to you.

Unfortunately for you, I will be coming back, and probably by the time this is posted, I will be in India, after buying tickets which include a 28% tax by the government just on the aviation fuel used by the flight, and 28% on the train tickets I bought using online banking on which there was 5% tax on the facility to use online payments. Just saying.

And if I am really such a disappointment and a liability, why would our supreme leader try to keep me in the country, where I pay no taxes and do not contribute to society in any way shape, or form? Doesn't he want more productive people who can pay taxes and contribute to society? That's about as good of a strategy as Putin's war in Ukraine.

But you know what? Fakk Yyuu, I don't blame you. You are exactly what I would expect a product of poor education and easy unrestricted internet access with no consequence and zero accountability to be. Both are things that are not in your control.

I must, however, thank you for your comment, since your engagement, however inane it might have been, actually helped promote my blog, with the post being shown to users in over 38 countries.

As I come to an end to this rant/stand-up comedy section bit, I also wonder how formal E-mails start for you. Or any public appearance. Thankfully, not my name, not my problem.

But still, (Fakk Yyuu)²

Moving on...

Addendum (March 2023) -

This was supposed to be posted back in November 2022 or maybe even earlier, but clearly, things got in the way. However, I do seemingly have a window of opportunity (literally) to finish up quite a lot of things that I have been putting off for quite a while. So I thought I would start off with this.

In the miraculous case that there are still active readers here, I would try to post at least 1 maybe 2 more posts here soon, as part of playing catch up. There are a lot of things that happened in the last 1 year, and it would be nice to self-document them.

I also am aware of some weirdness happening with the layout of objects in the blog. I will try to fix them as well.

Anyhoo. See you all in the next post.